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If I Could Only
Metadata
- title
- If I Could Only
- meaning
- Little Hug self-improvement loop: if I could only be better, fruit-fly patience, can't get up: army ads, self-help grift, alone untethered; reworked on Big Hug.
- year
- 2021
- release
- Little Hug
- releaseType
- EP
- artist
- Scoobert Doobert
- artistId
- #scoobert
- credits
- Written, performed, and mixed by Luke Francis Walton. Mastered by Riley Knapp.
- spotify
- https://open.spotify.com/album/08qm91rIDQEj86DoQWiNyB
- youtube
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnped91O4xE
- officialVideo
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnped91O4xE
- apple
- https://music.apple.com/us/album/if-i-could-only/1558296985?i=1558296988
- bandcamp
- https://scoobertdoobert.bandcamp.com/album/little-hug
- themes
- self-improvement
- Big Hug
- depression
- Little Hug
- post-pandemic
- ads
- isrc
- QZMER2037893
- isrcSource
- soundexchange
- draft
- false
Lyrics
If I could only be a little better Though I never come across the time I don't wanna wake alone untethered Make another vow and change my mind If I could only be a little better If I could only Somebody could chip away at it But I'm an alien that Got the patience of a fruit fly Get up Can't get up If I could only be a little better Though I never come across the time I don't wanna wake alone untethered Make another vow and change my mind If I could only be a little better If I could only Maybe I'll join the army And get it hammered into me Like a maggot in a kitchen I always close the tab And redirect my madness But the cookies keep following me Serving ads of martial glory Yeah they're making fun of My fading self-awareness Self help take all my money Please smile and ignore me Got me learning that Someone could chip away at it But I'm an alien That can't get up If I could only be a little better Though I never come across the time I don't wanna wake alone untethered Make another vow and change my mind If I could only be a little better If I could only
Content
Track two on Little Hug (April 2021), after the instrumental Walking Balboa. It returns as track nine on Big Hug (Apple LP cut), reworked with the same lyrics alongside Can't Imagine Feeling Better and Debby (Extended). Luke solo. The problem is plainer than the satire of Don't Worry or I Love Money: how to become a person when improvement keeps not sticking.
The hook is a loop that never resolves. Vows made and abandoned, loneliness underneath (I don't wanna wake alone untethered), and the honest reason it never lands: I'm an alien that got the patience of a fruit fly. The two-line scene says the rest: get up / can't get up. Same bed as I'm an Idiot, heavier.
The second verse is where it gets funny and bleak at once. The narrator considers joining the army to get it hammered into me, then can't escape the search that thought it up: I always close the tab and redirect my madness / but the cookies keep following me / serving ads of martial glory. The algorithm reads the spiral better than he can. Recruitment and self-help retargeting close the loop, the wellness industry recast as polite extraction (self help take all my money / please smile and ignore me).
On Big Hug it leads into Scared to Reunite and the title track, part of the LP's scared-to-be-a-person arc (Big Hug essay).