---
title: "Who Am I Really Fooling Anyway"

meaning: "Imposter syndrome as a pep talk: let go, lighten up, and admit the recurring dream where you're short two credits on the degree."

year: 2022
release: "KŌAN"
releaseType: "album"

artist: "Scoobert Doobert"
artistId: "#scoobert"

credits: "Written, performed, and mixed by Luke Francis Walton. Mastered by Riley Knapp. Artwork by Grizzard Graphics."

spotify: "https://open.spotify.com/track/7dQ9xKHNC1mqx5TYqMSUmH"
apple: "https://music.apple.com/us/song/who-am-i-really-fooling-anyway/1618192109"
youtube: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh-pjqaxgjI"

press:
  - outlet: "Beformer — Spotify Indie Pop (Instagram)"
    url: "https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd1Q6u-v1hF/"
    desc: "May 21, 2022 — official Spotify Indie Pop editorial add; KŌAN C era."
  - outlet: "Beformer — Spotify Bedroom Pop (Instagram)"
    url: "https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce1qzrVPiys/"
    desc: "June 15, 2022 — official Spotify Bedroom Pop editorial add; KŌAN C era."
  - outlet: "Indie Shuffle — Who Am I Really Fooling Anyway"
    url: "https://www.indieshuffle.com/scoobert-doobert-who-am-i-fooling-anyway"

themes: ["KŌAN", "identity", "imposter syndrome", "self-doubt"]

isrc: QZES92219180
isrcSource: soundexchange
lyrics: |
  Let go of it
  There no point in it
  Don't sit in it
  Yeah lighten up
  Don't run from it
  There no good in it
  Go deal with it
  Yeah, laugh it up
  No time for it
  Ignoring it
  I don't need it

  Who am I really fooling anyway?
  But who am I really fooling anyway?
  Yeah, who am I really fooling anyway?

  Living like a fraud
  Dumb luck cannot make up for it
  I'm faking it
  Unraveling my brain bit by bit
  How'd I end up here
  Someone should've stopped me at the doorknob
  Alone in it
  How freeing it would be to quit right here

  Let go of it
  There no point in it
  Don't sit in it
  Yeah lighten up
  Don't run from it
  There no good in it
  Go deal with it
  Yeah, laugh it up
  No time for it
  Ignoring it
  I don't need it

  Who am I really fooling anyway?
  But who am I really fooling anyway?
  Yeah, who am I really fooling anyway?

  I have a recurring dream
  In my senior year of college
  I graduate
  But I don't know I'm short two credits

  Then I get a job
  Everything is good until they find out
  I never really
  Earned the degree on my resume

  I wanna a superhero
  I wanna be an expert
  Writer of the textbook
  That probably gets rewritten by smarter people

  I wanna be a rock star
  Wanna be a singer
  Dancing at the Grammy's
  But then my laptop crashes and there's no autotune to save me

  Let go of it
  There no point in it
  Don't sit in it
  Yeah lighten up
  Don't run from it
  There no good in it
  Go deal with it
  Yeah, laugh it up
  No time for it
  Ignoring it
  I don't need it

  Who am I really fooling anyway?
  But who am I really fooling anyway?
  Yeah, who am I really fooling anyway?

draft: false

---

Track fifteen on [*KŌAN*](/albums/koan/), **KŌAN C** (June 30, 2022), after [*No Worries, Yes Worries*](/songs/no-worries-yes-worries/). Luke solo; [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh-pjqaxgjI) video.

Imposter syndrome dressed up as a pep talk. The self-help imperatives stack up (*lighten up*, *go deal with it*, *laugh it up*), and the title hook deflates all of them. Underneath is the exit fantasy: *how freeing it would be to quit right here*.

The anxiety gets specific in the recurring-dream verse: you graduate, get the job, and they find out you were *short two credits* and never earned the degree. The ambitions crash the same way, the dream undone by the machine it depends on (*my laptop crashes and there's no autotune to save me*).

Same KŌAN C identity thread as [*What Makes You You*](/songs/what-makes-you-you/) and [無門関](/songs/mumonkan/): if you're faking it, who's the you underneath? [The Bent Stick](/writing/the-bent-stick/) takes the other side, on standing behind what you can't prove.

**Spotify editorial:** [@beformer confirmed Indie Pop](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd1Q6u-v1hF/) (May 21, 2022) and [Bedroom Pop](https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce1qzrVPiys/) (June 15, 2022). See [Catalog: official playlists](/catalog/#spotify-editorial).

---