---
title: "Phone Plan"

meaning: "My ass is wifi-ready but you need a phone plan: connectivity hardware without a data contract, love as signal you can't actually use."

year: 2018
release: "$WAMI$"
releaseType: "album"

artist: "Scoobert Doobert"
artistId: "#scoobert"

spotify: "https://open.spotify.com/track/7b7Pm5spXPLUUIN0JKbWFU"
bandcamp: "https://scoobertdoobert.bandcamp.com/album/wami-lp"

themes: ["internet", "wifi", "WAMI", "2018"]

isrc: USLZJ1826922
isrcSource: soundexchange
draft: false

---

On [*$WAMI$*](/albums/wami/) the Spotify title shortens to **Phone Plan**; the Bandcamp tracklist name is **My Ass Is Wifi Ready (But You Need a Phone Plan)**: track two on the twenty-song collage, right after [*Prometheus & Groove*](/songs/prometheus-groove/).

The joke is infrastructure vs. access. Wifi-ready hardware means nothing if nobody bought the plan, same energy as having a crush who likes your posts but never texts back, or being online without the bandwidth to actually arrive somewhere. It is early Scoobert internet-brain comedy: bodily, stupid, and accidentally diagnostic of how relationships work when the connection is always on but the contract is missing.

Later catalog picks up the thread in different registers — [*Debby*](/songs/debby/) (phone-as-throne worship), [*time with u*](/songs/time-with-u/) (*I think my phone is dead but I might leave it that way*), [*All My Friends Live on the Internet*](/songs/all-my-friends-live-on-the-internet/) (friends as packets). **Phone Plan** is the *$WAMI$* version: rude title, real loneliness underneath.

Luke Francis Walton, write, play, track, mix. Part of the May 2018 [Bandcamp LP](https://scoobertdoobert.bandcamp.com/album/wami-lp) and the longer [visual album](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Iv0SgQRdV4) cut.

See [Catalog](/catalog/) · [*$WAMI$*](/albums/wami/)

---