---
title: "All My Friends Live on the Internet"

meaning: "Platonic love for the group chat: best friends you might never meet IRL, and a wifi router you have to slap to keep them in frame."

year: 2022
release: "KŌAN"
releaseType: "album"

artist: "Scoobert Doobert"
artistId: "#scoobert"

credits: "Written, performed, and mixed by Luke Francis Walton. Mastered by Riley Knapp. Artwork by Grizzard Graphics."

spotify: "https://open.spotify.com/track/5R5AqwSE7juUd0t6xCI6Ep"
apple: "https://music.apple.com/us/song/all-my-friends-live-on-the-internet/1618192115"
youtube: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Xymn7W9_w"

themes: ["KŌAN", "friendship", "internet", "isolation", "platonic love"]

isrc: QZES92220577
isrcSource: soundexchange
lyrics: |
  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo
  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo

  Come on

  Would you be mad
  If I said
  I never really wanna meet ya
  In-person like
  Wouldn't that kill
  The vibe we got?

  Would you be sad
  If I said
  You're probably my best friend
  My mom
  Thinks I'm pathetic
  I think she's getting old

  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo
  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo
  There's nothing virtual about you
  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo

  Come on

  Are you free to talk right now?
  There's no one in this town that gets me
  Maybe you and I
  Could kill some aliens
  And laugh it off?

  Would you be glad
  If I said
  I'm never ever
  Gonna ghost ya
  Can ya hear me?
  No.
  Hold up
  I am frozen

  My Wi-Fi's down again
  How am I supposed
  To see my friends
  When DSPs be throttling
  No cap
  I slap my Wi-Fi router
  But notice that my neighbor
  Set his password to
  Secret123
  Lucky me

  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo
  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo
  There's nothing virtual about you
  All my friends live on the internet
  Oo

  Yeah

draft: false

---

Track twenty on [*KŌAN*](/albums/koan/), **KŌAN C** closer energy, also a standalone single with [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Xymn7W9_w).

The hook is a contradiction the song keeps on purpose: *all my friends live on the internet*, but *there's nothing virtual about you*. The relationships are real, the geography isn't. *Would you be mad if I said I never really wanna meet ya in-person* isn't antisocial; it's the fear that flesh would kill the vibe you already have. *You're probably my best friend* while *my mom thinks I'm pathetic / I think she's getting old*.

Then infrastructure as comedy: Wi-Fi down, DSP throttling, slap the router, neighbor's password is *Secret123*. Lucky me. A platonic love song for people who only exist as voice and memes and late-night co-op, and it treats that as worth celebrating. Pairs with [*5G BABY*](/songs/5g-baby/) (always-on pocket love) and [*4:20 pm*](/songs/4-20-pm/) (shared lonely rock). KŌAN C cluster with [*Who Am I Really Fooling Anyway*](/songs/who-am-i-really-fooling-anyway/), [無門関](/songs/mumonkan/), [*What Makes You You*](/songs/what-makes-you-you/).

---